物理

致我那绽放在盛夏的故事

“纵化大浪中 不喜亦不惧 ”

谨以此文 献给我十六岁的夏天

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Time won't fly, it's like you're paralyzed by it

I'd like to be my old self again, and I've made it

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After plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own

Now I mail back your things and I walk forward alone

But you keep my letter from that very first month

'Cause it reminds you of innocence and it feels like me

You can't get rid of it

'Cause you remember it all too well, yeah

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'Cause there we are again when I loved you so

Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known

It was rare, I was there

You remember it all too well in that cruel summer

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Wind in my hair, you were there

You remember it all

Down the stairs, you were there

You remember it all

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I could still picture it after all those days

I guess sincerely, maybe you would be better someday, or probably not

Why are you so stuck with the past?

Once I told you to love the person you are, but those words just wash over you like a flood that never turns back

Now you just become somebody else and always weave the tangles

I see the way you're acting like you're somebody else makes me laugh out loud

Oh god!

Where's the boy who I loved in last July?

Well, the bad news is —

R.I.P.

Anyway, the good news is —

R.I.P.

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Down the stairs, I was there

With the new faces I've met in these days, they treat me like I'm whole —

and I feel like I finally am 

I appreciate it all

Though I'm starting to regret ever meeting you after all the lies you told — 'cause I used to trust you so much.

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Stop those errors — they still cut me open

We're strangers now, so let me go, please, sir, you the jerk.

---

What do you really want?

The marks I carved into you in my fury, or the secrets I told the stars the night my ship sailed away from your shore?

TELL ME!

Oh sorry, I forgot — you can't. Just a pitiful dog under a tombstone.

I can lay it all out.

Facing the past courageously? That's nothing for the girl I am in next July.

'Cause I've already buried you once.

(Lyrics by Taylor Swift/Vivian Lee)

2026.7.10

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高一 是烂片 也是杀青快乐.

2026.7.4

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风起时 我们不过也才刚刚落笔——

笔随心至处 我们尚未命名.

瑾知 書于2026.6.27

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祝我像野草 要收敛锋芒 要怡然自得 要春风吹又生.

瑾知 書于2026.6.20

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我要你风光旖旎 向春山不计苦难.

记住 我做任何决定都是为了让自己幸福.

瑾知 書于2026.6.19

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瑾知 完稿于2026.6.7

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今年发生了很多 很多事 一面阵痛又一面幸福着. 十六岁的雨季或许不会洇湿人生 但确确实实渗透进了2026的每一寸角落.

跌跌撞撞一路坎坷闯进高二的大关 比起跌宕起伏的失败 我惊觉真正让我恐惧的是我连出发的准备都还没做好.

学习 感情 生活 一眼望不到头的未来尽是这三个词. 真是烦死了 可是又像疯了一样痴迷着 热爱着 其实一切的一切都真的只是太想赢了 太想向所有人证明自己了 尤其是在经历了一些纠葛之后这样的欲望愈发强烈 说到底还是我自己太贪心了——永远不懂得满足 永远都过于饥渴.

我知道这样不对 这样不好 这样没用 试过调解 试过屏蔽 试过摈弃 最终还是决定把一切交给时间 真是像极了市场经济 内部相互消解 又相互成就.

何为恒常？世事无常即是恒啊！

也不知道什么时候慢慢变得喜欢抓大放小了——比起工笔细节更想追求趋势、整体、轮廓 好像周遭就是一片雨雾朦胧 再滚烫的火焰也终将被泯灭 开始讨厌那些繁琐的细枝末节 像裤子上的线头 只得眼不见心不烦.

好像早就失去了初中时那种放肆的年少轻狂. 原来身体里的那台发动机早就被时光运转得生了锈我却还浑然不知 甚至一度痴心妄想着它可以重新运作起来. 做不到了 它已经完成了自己的使命 退居到那名为过去的幕后去了.

干嘛要那么用力呢 何必一定要赢呢. 我问过自己 却问不出答案. 可能只是习惯了从小到大成绩一直名列前茅的快感和虚荣吧 可能只是为了去迎合一些什么人的要求吧 也可能真的只是自己一厢情愿吧 那谁知道.

July will be better.

瑾知 完稿于2026.5.31